Slow Horses Season 6 Is Coming And My Blood Pressure Isn't

Well, grab your least-functional trench coat and a pint of something bitter, because Apple TV+ just confirmed what we all suspected: *Slow Horses* is coming back for a sixth season. That's right, the show about MI5's Island of Misfit Spies—the one where Gary Oldman's Jackson Lamb communicates primarily through flatulence and contempt—is getting yet another round. At this point, the series has outlived most of the actual British Empire. For the uninitiated (and honestly, what are you doing with your life?), *Slow Horses* follows the "rejects" of Slough House, a dumping ground for agents who screwed up so badly that the only thing left is filing paperwork and existential dread. Based on Mick Herron's novels, the show has somehow made "spy thriller" feel fresh again, mostly by replacing glamorous martinis with microwave curry and replacing "saving the world" with "trying not to die from sheer incompetence." Season 6 will reportedly adapt *Joe Country*, the sixth book in Herron's series. For those keeping score at home, that means we're getting more of River Cartwright making terrible decisions with the confidence of a man who's never once read a room. More of Louisa Guy being the only competent person surrounded by human dumpster fires. And more of Lamb, a man who looks like he was birthed from a pub ashtray and whose primary leadership strategy is weaponized disappointment. Apple hasn't announced a release date yet, because of course they haven't. Streaming services love nothing more than making you wait two years between seasons while you forget every plot point. But given the show's breakneck production pace—seasons 4 and 5 dropped within months of each other—we might actually get this one before we all succumb to climate anxiety. Optimistic? Maybe. But so is thinking any of these characters will ever get a happy ending. The real question: how long can this go on? Herron's written eight books, so theoretically we've got material through Season 8. But at some point, the premise of "a bunch of screwups stumble into a conspiracy" starts to strain credulity. How many international incidents can one basement office cause before someone in Whitehall just shuts the whole thing down? Actually, don't answer that. The British government's entire operational model is "let the weirdos handle it and pray." What keeps *Slow Horses* from becoming a parody of itself is the cast. Oldman is doing career-best work as Lamb, a role that requires him to be simultaneously repulsive and weirdly endearing—like a stray cat that hisses at you but also might have a knife. Kristin Scott Thomas as Diana Taverner remains the only adult in the room, which is a low bar when the room includes a guy who once got shot in the head and kept working. And the rotating cast of guest stars—this season reportedly includes more of the same "oh crap, that person's in this?" energy that makes British television feel like a reunion of every drama school graduate since 1985. So yes, Season 6 is happening. Will it be good? Probably. Will it stress me out to the point of needing a lie-down? Absolutely. Will Jackson Lamb ever take a shower? Not a chance. **The Take:** *Slow Horses* is the rare show that understands competence is boring and dysfunction is forever. As long as Gary Oldman keeps belching in people's faces and River keeps making the worst possible choice at the worst possible time, I'll keep watching. It's cheaper than therapy and only slightly less depressing.