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The 90s Band Hanson Just Dropped a Beer and Nobody Noticed
Persona #3 · Vol: 5000
Remember Hanson? The three homeschooled brothers from Tulsa who taught an entire generation how to spell "MMMBop" and then vanished into the cultural void somewhere around 1998? Yeah, they're still a band. They never stopped being a band. And this week they quietly released a beer, which is possibly the most "aging millennial" move in the history of capitalism.
The beer is called, I kid you not, "MMMHop." It's an IPA, obviously, because of course it is. Every washed-up celebrity with a licensing deal and a dream has an IPA now. It's the official beverage of "I peaked in high school and I'm fine with it." Hanson partnered with a Tulsa brewery to create this hop-forward masterpiece, presumably so that the people who once screamed at them in a mall can now cry into a pint glass while their kids refuse to eat dinner.
Let's be real: nobody asked for this. But also, a tiny, embarrassing part of you wants to try it. That's the Hanson business model. They've been coasting on nostalgia since puberty, and honestly? Respect the hustle. These guys went from being the biggest teenybopper act on the planet to playing county fairs and state fairs and the occasional casino, all while maintaining the same three-part harmonies and questionable haircuts. They're like a boy band that refused to die, just slowly aged into a dad band that plays your local amphitheater on a Tuesday.
The beer itself is described as having "tropical notes" and "a hint of citrus," which is marketing speak for "it tastes like beer." It's 6.3% ABV, which means you'd need about four to forget that you once owned a Hanson poster and told everyone they were your favorite band, even though you only knew two songs. One of those songs is "MMMBop." The other one is also "MMMBop."
Here's the thing that gets me: this is actually kind of genius. Hanson has been running a craft beer and music festival called Hop Jam in Tulsa for years. They're not clueless. They know exactly who their audience is: aging millennials with disposable income and a lingering sense of irony. We're the generation that buys things ironically and then accidentally enjoys them. We're the reason Chuck E. Cheese serves alcohol now. We're the reason *NSYNC might do a reunion tour every three years. Hanson just beat everyone to the punch by putting their name on a can before the nostalgia market fully collapses.
Will it sell? Probably. Not because it's good, but because it's funny. You'll buy a four-pack, post it on Instagram with a caption like "the 90s called, they want their beer back," and then drink it alone on a Friday night while wondering where your youth went. That's the American dream. That's consumerism in its final form. We don't buy products anymore; we buy permission to feel something.
So congratulations, Hanson. You've successfully monetized the collective midlife crisis of an entire generation. You're no longer just the "MMMBop" guys. You're the "MMMBop beer" guys. That's not a downgrade. That's a legacy.
**Closing opinion:** Hanson making a beer is peak "we're all just trying to make it to retirement" energy, and I respect it. If you're mad about this, you're probably the same person who still complains about pumpkin spice. Just drink the beer and let people have nice things.