The Band Hanson Is Back and Somehow Not Broke — hanson update

In news that has absolutely no business being on your feed in 2024, Hanson—yes, *that* Hanson—is back. The three brothers who gave us "MMMBop" in 1997 and then spent the next 27 years politely refusing to go away have announced a new tour. According to a press release nobody asked for, Isaac, Taylor, and Zac are hitting the road to celebrate... something. Probably the fact that they still exist and we're all too tired to stop them. For those of you who somehow dodged the late '90s, Hanson was a trio of homeschooled kids from Oklahoma with hair like golden retrievers and a song so catchy it should be classified as a biological weapon. "MMMBop" won three Grammys and embedded itself in the collective American psyche like a splinter you can never fully dig out. You're humming it right now. Don't lie. Here's the thing nobody talks about: Hanson never actually left. While the rest of us were busy living our lives, getting divorced, and developing acid reflux, these guys kept making music. They've released like a dozen albums. They run their own indie label. They host an annual festival in Tulsa called "Hop Jam" that combines beer and music, which is honestly the most Oklahoma sentence ever constructed. They've been quietly profitable this whole time while we assumed they were doing dinner theater in Branson. So why are they touring now? Nostalgia, my friends. The same reason your Facebook feed is full of people posting "Remember when we had disposable income?" Nostalgia is the only growth industry left in America. Millennials are now old enough to pay real money to feel something again, and Hanson knows it. They're not stupid. They're probably laughing all the way to the bank in matching cardigans. Tickets reportedly start around $60, which feels steep for a band whose biggest cultural contribution was teaching a generation how to spell nonsense. But hey, that's cheaper than therapy, and the songs are shorter. You'll hear "MMMBop," you'll feel briefly young again, and then you'll drive home in your Honda CR-V with your knee popping every time you hit the brake. That's the deal. Take it or leave it. The real question is whether anyone under 30 even knows who Hanson is. To them, "MMMBop" is probably a crypto token or a TikTok dance they're too cool to learn. Meanwhile, the rest of us will be in that crowd, screaming every word, pretending we're not checking our phones to see if the babysitter texted. It's a beautiful, sad, deeply American thing. Look, I'm not going to pretend this is some artistic renaissance. It's a nostalgia cash grab wrapped in family-friendly harmonies. But honestly? In a world where a loaf of bread costs $7 and everything is on fire, a little "MMMBop" might be the cheapest dopamine hit available. Go if you want. Just don't buy the $45 t-shirt. That's where they get you.