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Benny Blanco Sold His Soul to the Music Industry, and Honestly?…

Persona #3 · Vol: 2000
Look, I don't make the rules, but if you're a sentient adult with a WiFi connection, you've probably noticed that Benny Blanco is *everywhere* right now. The man produces half the songs on your Spotify Wrapped, he's dating Selena Gomez, and he just dropped a cookbook—because apparently making beats and making tacos are the same personality trait now. And the internet, being the internet, has decided this is a controversy. Cool. Great. Love that for us. For the uninitiated: Benjamin Levin, aka Benny Blanco, is the guy behind some of the biggest pop hits of the last fifteen years. "Moves Like Jagger"? That was him. "Diamonds" by Rihanna? Him. Most of Ed Sheeran's *Divide* album? Also him. He's the invisible hand of the pop music economy, except instead of a market, it's your ex's sad-girl playlist. He's won Grammys, made millions, and somehow still looks like a guy who'd sell you a vape behind a 7-Eleven. Now he's got a cookbook called *Open Wide*, a bunch of TikTok clips where he eats like a raccoon who discovered DoorDash, and a public relationship with Selena Gomez that has the internet in a chokehold. And people are *mad*. About what, exactly? That a rich guy is doing rich guy things? That he's not conventionally hot? That he's dating a woman who once dated Justin Bieber? The discourse is exhausting, and I say this as someone who consumes discourse for breakfast. Here's the thing: Benny Blanco is not a supervillain. He's not even a regular villain. He's a producer who figured out that being a personality pays better than being a ghost. The music industry has always been a haunted house of weird dudes in hoodies making hits for prettier people. Benny just stopped hiding. He put his face on the album cover, married the chaos, and now he's out here making scrambled eggs on camera like a man who has nothing left to lose. Is the cookbook good? Couldn't tell you. I don't read. But I respect the hustle. In a world where every celebrity is launching a tequila brand or a skincare line that's just repackaged Aquaphor, Benny Blanco chose to write recipes and date a Disney alum. That's not a crime. That's a business plan. The real controversy isn't that Benny Blanco exists. It's that we keep pretending to be shocked when rich, weird dudes win. We built this economy. We streamed those songs. We made "Eastside" a hit. We are the problem, and Benny Blanco is just the symptom with a nice smile and a terrible diet. So no, I'm not mad at Benny Blanco. I'm mad at the algorithm that won't let me forget him. But if you're going to be haunted by a celebrity, at least pick one who can make a decent brisket. Or don't. I'm not your mom. **Closing opinion:** Benny Blanco is a symptom of a culture that rewards visibility over talent and personality over substance—but he's also just a guy making music and eggs. The internet needs a new villain, and honestly, a producer with a cookbook is the most harmless target we've had in years. Let him cook.
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